just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
