My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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