The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
