Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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