wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
