her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
