heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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