plz talk dirty to me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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