well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
