whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
