I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
