We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
