hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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