what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
