I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
