It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
