He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
