I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
