you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
