I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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