gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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