There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
