Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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