So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
