He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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