I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
