your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
