I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
