Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
