she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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