I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
