Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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