I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
