Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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