I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
