you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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