Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just gargled with NyQuil
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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