census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
