direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
