It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
