She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
