i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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