and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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