I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
