Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
