I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
