Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
