dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
