Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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