doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
