but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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