gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
