Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
